Life lessons: How To Lose Gracefully. Betsy provides us with a counterexample

Friday night was such a disaster. We tried to play this Clue Jr. game that I found at the goodwill the other day. I tend to think that they should not sell games that are missing fundamental pieces! It's not like missing some money or houses from monopoly. Clue is really hard to play with missing pieces (and directions!). And when you buy it, they have the boxes all taped up so you assume that one of their many paid employees has checked on these things. But apparently not.

So I managed to find a copy of the directions online, was able to revise the directions to compensate for the missing pieces and Betsy seemed to actually understand the rules which if you think about it, is a pretty complicated idea. Even in the simplified clue jr. game, kids have to wrap their brains around the concept of "process of elimination" and they have to keep track of 3 different variables (who, what drink and what time for Clue Jr.). So we were off and playing a mere 45 minutes after we originally intended to start this before bedtime activity. And despite the monkey/tiger/dog in the room who climbed on the table, stole our dice and threw things, it was going very nicely. Betsy was doing great. She was taking turns and checking off her clues. I did need to remind her several times NOT to announce to me what she found each time. She has no poker face. When she figured out WHO did it, she got the most incredulous look on her face and could not stop grinning. And she tried so hard not to tell me, but then she did. That girl is so going to end up a gossip. "Did you hear? Oh my god, you're never going to believe this. It was Professor Plum. Professor Plum did it!!!" So hard for me not to use that information to my benefit. But I tried to play fair and square. Towards the end of the game, a little past bedtime, she was starting to dawdle. I was having to remind her to take her turn and mark her sheet every time. It was getting tiresome. I went ahead and solved the mystery. I was right. That was when all hell broke loose.

"That's not fair! I didn't mark the time." What do you mean it's not fair? What are you talking about? "But I didn't mark the time! You cheated. It's not fair!" Okay, I was just not following what exactly was not fair other than the fact that I won and she lost. Come on, I didn't do a winner's dance or anything! I really don't believe in letting kids win. I could be misguided in that regard as the next half hour of my life was somewhat surreal. I saw the meltdown of all meltdowns. Apparently, Betsy, in her zealousness over the game had only kept track of two of her variables. She figured out the who and she figured out the what, but she'd totally ignored the time. Somehow this was my fault. And because I didn't warn her, I had cheated by winning.

At one point she came up to me with the paper I had been marking my clues on and looked at me with an evil look akin to Johnny in The Shining. "Did you do this? Is this your paper?" she said while she slowly crumpled it in a way meant to evoke terror on my part, as though she were crumpling my only visa out of some godforsaken third world country, "well look what I'm goign to do with it. This way no one will know you won." Like who were we worried might find out about this game? Are you already getting ready for your papparazzi honey? I tried to remain calm and not get into it with a 6 year old. I also tried my darndest not to laugh.

Later, after she'd calmed down, while I was tucking her into bed, we ended up having a nice talk.
I told her "Betsy, I really had fun with you today."
She looked at me incredulously, "but.."
"No really," I interrupted, "I had a great time playing the game with you."
"But mommy, I got so mad at the end."
"Yeah, I didn't like that part."

Then we talked about what went wrong and she said she was sorry and all was good. I have to say that there have been enough episodes like this lately that I wonder if we are looking at early onset puberty! My goodness, if this is age 6, what is 12 going to be like????

Follow up note: Today my friend came over for dinner and she brought a list of drama programs to sign her up for. I am so on it!